My Paradise

Mary, this is for you. I told you I would post something that isn't so dark. Thanks for caring.

It's actually pretty warm here in Pennsylvania. Highs in the 50's, lows in the 30's for the most part. It was raining and 36 degrees for a few days and that really sucks! I'd rather have snow. The weather is going to change next week with old man winter blowing bitter winds upon our necks.

I made it through the Christmas holiday without losing it. Amazing. I felt so alone on a holiday that's supposed to make everyone feel so happy. I watched Christmas come and go through a looking glass, not recognizing the pageantry of Christmas. It was like watching a foreign play without subtitles. I'm glad the play is over. Roll the foreign credits. Time for me to move on. Time for me to search for a new pack. Time for me to find myself.

I need to go roam in the forest, maybe get lost for a day or two. The fear and survival awakens in me a sense of spiritual awareness that makes me feel so alive. I love it! It keeps me going. Which reminds me of my poem "A Forest" which I posted last year. I just have to post it again. It's me.


I find myself walking through a forest
In quest of a dream I had long ago
Where happiness and peace and love overflow

I find myself walking through a forest
Escaping the pain from my troubled past
The memories, like nightmares, forever last

I find myself walking through a forest
Traversing my path, crossing my stream
Searching my soul in quest of a dream

I find myself walking through a forest
Walking through a forest, I find myself


That's me in a nutshell. Walking through a forest where everything just comes together and fits so perfectly. I can't wait until spring and summer when the days seem to last forever. When moonlight caresses my face like a lover's fleeting kiss. When nightbirds sing beautiful songs so mesmerizing they carry me away as if I were living in a dream. When winds carry the sweet, fragrant smell of nature. When the forest greenery colors my canvas of life. Ahhh, I can almost feel it and see it and hear it and smell it. My peace... my happiness... my paradise.